Another very cool, minimal, story telling composition. And no colour makes 'Most people' seem more distant, aloof. Good.
I'm not sure about how the caption squeezes aboard the page, pushing its way in by mushing heads together above.
Perhaps, 'of the' could be left out, so it could read Most people ignored him. That could be on two lines:
Most people
ignored him.
and replace two heads somewhere.
Aloso, might it be fun if the alert child reader was able to spot the boy somewhere. Not obvious. He wouldn't have a grumpy face, of course. Could be a questioning, not so sure face? Maybe the third face from the right on the top row.
As you know, I'm looking for ways to involve the boy in the story.
Or am I micro-managing?
Well conceived and a handsome image!
Comments
I'm not sure about how the caption squeezes aboard the page, pushing its way in by mushing heads together above.
Perhaps, 'of the' could be left out, so it could read Most people ignored him. That could be on two lines:
Most people
ignored him.
and replace two heads somewhere.
Aloso, might it be fun if the alert child reader was able to spot the boy somewhere. Not obvious. He wouldn't have a grumpy face, of course. Could be a questioning, not so sure face? Maybe the third face from the right on the top row.
As you know, I'm looking for ways to involve the boy in the story.
Or am I micro-managing?
Well conceived and a handsome image!